I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
