I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
