It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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