Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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