i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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