omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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