Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
