Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
