he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
