Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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