Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
