You work out of a Hotel?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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