He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
