dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
