So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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