Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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