that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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