Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
