and you said cock pushups were impossible
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize