Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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