People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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