Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
