Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I got inside last night via doggy door
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
