Where did you get a picture of my penis
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
