Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
