The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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