it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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