One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
