I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
