wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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