thus making me awesome and them whores
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
