I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
