Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
