Tell her she can't have a vagina
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
