please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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