He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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