so that wasnt chicken after all
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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