i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
