Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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