I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
