We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
