so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
