dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
