So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
