it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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