something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize