ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
