"it" just moved
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
