Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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