What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
