She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
