No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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