Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Even my vagina gasped.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
