Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
