Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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