Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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