The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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