I wish you could order shots online.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
