1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
did i walk over a car last night?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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