Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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