never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
