I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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