Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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