so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize