Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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