I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
