yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
