Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
