Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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