I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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