Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize