I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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