You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize