Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I want to be your penis for a week.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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