dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
