i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
