Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
