Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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