i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
