you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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