i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
