So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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