so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think I just sharted jello shots
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