Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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