Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
