got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
